Define this !!

Managers: People who are able to ignore the big elephant in their living rooms.

Employees: People who aren't able to see anything except the big elephant in their managers' living rooms.

Work: What employees do when they are not doing anything else.

Nothing: An understatement to what managers do.

Egyptian Business illustrated

Written by: Sherif Ali





Business is all about the customer. In order to make it in business you have to make the customer happy (or if that is not an option try to make him think that he is happy). There are 3 ways to do business: a good way, a bad way and the Egyptian way (which is basically a local version of the bad way).

1. Give the customer more than they bargained for.

The Good way: Give your customer a great discount or a nice present to insure customer satisfaction and loyalty.

The Bad way: Just sell them the thing and get it over with.

The Egyptian way: Sell your customer a 1000 LE shirt with a 50% discount for 600 LE. (even better don't say 1000 LE say 999 LE and don't say 600 LE say 599 LE, this way the math will be too confusing for the customer to figure out).

2. Realize the importance of feedback.

The Good way: Ask your customer for his opinion and make sure it is valued in order to achieve maximum customer satisfaction.

The Bad way: Tell your customers to keep their opinions to themselves.

The Egyptian way: Ask your customers for their opinion just don't give them any paper, pen or a place to put their papers in.

Say Hello to Badr

Today in The ALYS Show, I would like to welcome the newest addition to our family:

Ahmed Badr, the guy who answered "booger" to the Nile FM daily riddle for 7 consecutive times and yet never won.

He enjoys The Simpsons, romantic dinners and long walks on the beach.

Badr is as enthusiastic to work on The ALYS Show as the day this picture was taken.

Quote

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields during an anti-smoking campaign interview.

Egyptian Parenting illustrated

Written by: Sherif Aly

There is an Egyptian saying that says "ما حك جلدك مثل ظفرك " probably coming from someone who missed a lot of showers and it means "nothing can scratch your back better than your own fingers", so , forget about these 300 page books talking about the Parent-Child issues and let me show you how the Egyptian parents scratched their backs.

Whatever one might say, we all got our share of beating from our parents. Some with sticks, some with belts and some with hmm… even worst things. (talk about walking bare foot just because slippers have too much bad memories for you). Parents say that it is coming from a loving place and that they are beating us to make us better persons.

When I was young I used to beat up other kids, and although it was really fun for me it seemed that other kids weren't enjoying it as much. One day the school called on my parents to put an end to it, they confronted me to know why did I beat on other kids, I said that it is coming from a loving place and that I am trying to make all of them better persons. Although I thought that that was well said, I got some more beating when I went home !!!

Although it seems hard for us as kids to get the logic behind our parents behavior, I got a real insight from one, he said that his parents used to beat him and he turned out fine and that is why he is returning the favor to his kids. Although it was hard to argue with that person (who was a taxi driver wearing his shirt inside out) I decided that he made perfect sense.

It is weird how times change, yesterday I used to be the child who wondered how come he got beaten so often and today I am a married man who in a year or two will have a child who is also going to wonder how come is getting beaten so often.

Smoking

Written by: Sherif Ali
Sherif Ali is a respectable member of the community, he writes to this blog simply because he can.

Legal Disclaimer: This blog is not responsible for the ideas of it's writers, in a matter of fact even it's writers are not responsible for their own ideas or anything else for that matter. if you choose to sue us, please know that you will not win a piaster (sad relative to the american penny) for poor is an understatement to our financial condition (condition is also an understatement).


The other day I was watching one of these TV things that the ministry of health publishes (money down the drain by the way) and it said that when you smoke with people around, all of them actually smoke with you!

Personally I think that this really sucks. You pay 20 LE for a pack of cigarettes and all those people get to smoke it with you for free and still they are unhappy!

Surely smoking can be really dangerous. If a cigarette falls on grass it can cause a really big fire. Also smoking in a room full of people turned out to be very dangerous, if you have a really long cigarette there is a good chance that you might poke someone’s eye.

So after all these facts, I think we should all try to quit smoking or better yet, if you smoke around people they should pay too.

P.S: Smoking causes lung cancer , deafness ,blindness and sometimes a severe case of deathness